When Multiple Emotions Become Overwhelming

We are more than ever living in a highly multiple emotional time.  A time where anxieties are easily heightened right along with a big fat unknown that none of us have control over and not even a good handle on. 

If you have never experienced depression or anxiety, or consider yourself  recovered/recovering from depression or your own anxiety manager, you may now be feeling these mental states fully now or feeling like you are going into a relapse.  Going into what's now 5th month (maybe longer where you live) of quarantined living, triggers have been showing up more often. One of the blessings that comes out of coming through the other side of depression, anxiety or even dealing with grief in the past is that you never forget what it was like! If you have recovered or have learned to manage your mental health, you recognize symptoms of decline much faster than you did when you experienced it for the first time.

It's normal to feel multiple emotions about what's going on or not going on, what's well or not well in your life or in the world. We live in a mixed bag of diversity, and our feelings about things and life at any point in time will be no different.

I decided to give myself some space to identify some of these triggers that have had me feeling increased symptoms of anxiety lately and even some intense sadness. 

This exercise is not to repress and cover negative feelings but to give these feelings an opportunity to transform by creating and adopting a new perspective. Dealing with emotions can be hard work but it's always worth your time to do it. 

In no particular order, here are my top 5 anxieties & grief I am working through and transforming.

I feel anxious about going out into the world "business as usual". 

The truth is, we really don't have all the information about the Coronavirus. What we do know is that this virus is highly contagious and that wearing masks is supposed to help decrease our chances of spreading the virus. We also know that social distancing decreases our chances of spreading the virus. My only choice here is to take the information given and take heed to it and at least do what is being suggested (and in some areas mandated). Wear my mask when I have to be out, especially in potentially highly populated areas like the grocery store, and keep 6 feet apart in any setting. While I'm home, keep my hands out of my face and keep them clean. I do not have to go anywhere I do not feel comfortable going to just because the doors are open! 

I feel tremendous grief about racism in general and all the recent events that have further reveals the ugliness that still exists in America and the world. 

But you know what? It's about time! Because this has been brewing under, over and around the radar for years, and quite frankly, I'm tired! This has probably been the most exhausting reality to face. So, what I have done to make sure that I am backing up Black/POC is by joining in on the conversations that are happening, checking in on friends and family more often, making sure I am registered to vote and voting in all elections, signing petitions and looking for ways to continually support what I believe- BLACK LIVES MATTER!  As I engage in conversations and ideas to help improve and change things for people of color, I am able to give this hard reality some light and purpose and bring peace into my mind and life, even if it's one moment at a time.  

I feel anxious about what parenting will be like during/ and after the pandemic.

One thing I had not anticipated was navigating a new arrangement with visitation during a pandemic however, the pandemic has made long-term changes to how all parents handle their parenting time with respect to drastic school changes, especially parents who share children out of two households. There have been a lot of struggles on deciding what is best for children regarding scheduling. But here is what I know for sure. No parent should be denied their right to see their child. The pandemic should not be used to withhold children from a parent they would normally see or deny a parent additional time that they have a right to have. The pandemic should be used to be creative and open to new arrangements that will benefit the child seeing both parents, even if it means adding more time to a parent's schedule. Parents will need each other more than they realize in the next coming year. So, what I have done is asked for time/schedule to be re-evaluated and to revise outdated language in our current order(s). The goal is to get us through the pandemic and to see that it still fits our child's/children's needs when the pandemic is over! 

I feel extreme frustration about moments of inefficiency with some of my work tasks.

Although I have been working from home part-time for a little over 2 years now, when the pandemic came, it forced many of us home indefinitely. One of my part-time jobs was a few days a week outside the home that suddenly became work from home. It sounded great to begin with and I am thankful and grateful to this particular employer for making this possible, but it came with some real setbacks. I realized that sometimes not all tasks are work-from-home ready unless you have all the right tools to make it as efficient as you would be in an office. After 3 months of trial and error and feeling completely confused as to how I was once thriving with these tasks and now struggling to find what I thought was a "routine" or "rhythm" issue, I ended up concluding that I also needed a printer/scanner to be at my best with this job.  It seemed like an expense that was unnecessary considering I already had a brand new purchased laptop to do the job. I ended up asking for the printer/scanner and received it.  The point is, sometimes it's not all in your head and you may need to ask for what you actually 

need to do the job. 

I feel uncertain about how things will play out financially for me and my family during these times.

As a single, divorced mother of 2, who just recently bounced back into single-living, I had a pretty solid idea of what life would be like over the next 4 years. It was about stability, continuing to build my virtual assistance presence, staying creative, and tackling some minor debts. Over the past several months, I did lose some much needed income. However, I somehow still manage to stay stable and I attribute much of this to keeping a budget and knowing where money is going. I try not get overwhelmed that I may not be at the financial point to start tackling all the debt portions of my goals at this time and I remind myself often that it has nothing to do with my inability to do so. The last thing I want to do was panic and take on too much extra work before I really understand all the other extra things I will need to also add to my plate; things like schooling kids from home.  I simply need to be patient and consistent with what I am doing and strive to do these things the best I can. For the times that I need extra help, I know that all I need to do is ask for it. The good news is, to date, there hasn't been a huge gap in my earning that wasn't remedied quickly. 

For the times that I feel intense feelings of overwhelm, I always consider and keep the idea of counseling on hand! As a matter of fact, I am currently in counselling/therapy just to make sure I have a solid circle of support to get through this rough patch in life and there is no shame in it!

I recently read a pretty accurate article online about your body and brain on coronavirus quarantine and I thought it was very well written and timely! 

Another great way to decompress and release tension, stress and anxiety is through art. I have put together in a previous post a way to be creative with mindful collaging. You do not need experience to do this and it will not require a load of supplies to deal with. 

In this article post, I share other things I am doing to make adjustments and keep my load light!

If you are severely suffering with unrelenting depressive thoughts and need immediate help, please do not hesitate to ask. You can call the national suicide prevention line (1-800-273-8255 and online chat is also available).

What are some things that are troubling you during this time? Have you been able to identify ways in your control to ease your anxieties about it?